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m a k i n g t h e s c e n e
See also the various community directories on Otherkin.net, including a "list of lists", personal contacts (warning: many are out of date), gathers, etc.
A remark on conversation trends on lists and boards.
Message Boards, Chats, etc.
The otherkin community on LiveJournal, which I co-moderate, is not very active, but it is alive.
I'm more of a reader than a poster in many cases with message boards, but I can sometimes be found at Otherkin Phenomena, Otherkin Alliance, Embracing Mystery, and the Dreamhart forums. I'm no longer active at Otherkin Community, Otherkin Retreat, or Shadowlore, but they're there. Tysha's Dragon Forum, as you might guess, is a board specifically for dragons and draconic topics. (You have to register to see any content.)
On Tribe.net I'm a member of The Commonwealth of Elves, Elfkin, Cascadian Elves Awakening, Dragon Clan, Elvish Blood and the Tolkien Path, Therianthropes and Otherkin, and Unseelie Court. Unfortunately, Tribe seems to be all but completely dead (at least in this area of interest).
On Ning there is a fairly active Otherkin group, OtherKin Realms (otherwise known, somewhat oddly, as "Shadows of Valhalla").
IRC channels to try: Draconic.net #draconic, DalNet #othercreatures, FurNet #otherkin.
Otherkin meetup at Meetup.com may possibly help you find a local group to meet with every month, if one still exists near you since Meetup decided to start charging a rather substantial monthly fee some years ago.
The House Kheperu Open House, originally a vampire get-together, but now shifted towards general metaphysical topics sometimes including otherkin, is annually in late May in Ohio. It was last held on May 21st-23rd, 2010.
Walking the Thresholds is the oldest still operating 'kin gather, begun in 1998 and held annually in early to mid June at Four Quarters Farm in southwestern Pennsylvania. It last occurred on June 10th-13th, 2010.
A Gathering Echo is held in the Houston, Texas area and will next be on September 3rd-6th, 2010.
Crossing the Thresholds, the autumnal cousin of Walking the Thresholds and held on the same site in Pennsylvania, will next be held on September 23rd-26th, 2010.
MythiCalia is an autumn gather in the SF Bay area of California, and will next be held on September 23rd-26th, 2010, in the Mount Hamilton area. (Stay tuned for more developments here; if we like the site we are using this year, I am thinking of switching MythiCalia to a spring date.)
Feywood is a new gather I'm organizing in southwestern Washington state, which will take place for the first time on July 21st-24th, 2011.
Otherkin can also occasionally be found at furry conventions, such as Further Confusion or Anthrocon, or gaming, comics or sci-fi/fantasy conventions, such as DragonCon or BayCon. You might also try faery events like the Faerieworlds Festival in Oregon, Fairy & Human Relations Congress in Washington, or the Spoutwood May Day Fairie Festival in Pennsylvania. In 2007 Lupa presented a workshop on Otherkin at PantheaCon, and I successfully found the folks behind Lost Haven (now defunct) and Otherkin Alliance at one of the parties, so we might be at pagan conventions too, just a little hard to find.