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w e   a r e   o u r s

At the touch of love everyone becomes a poet.

(Plato)

Once upon a time I said to my precious, "I wouldn't want to make it to five poems about you. That'd be serious business." Uh... *koff*...yyyeah. Riiight. There are pushing 50 poems on this page.

cel: something? | cel continued | for him I've always known | A Dragon's Troth | Inspire | missing | unpitted | silver shadow | constellation | the last word | remember promise think | lifeblood | heartheart | (untitled) (1) | vacancy | on awakening friday morning | the vintners | To Each Their Own | cold steel | Birthday Card | fairy rainbows | As Above, So Below | Memory? | lure | By the Numbers | Mm-Mm | To Anin | Desperation?: or, Distance is Eeeevil | hindsight | strands | (untitled) (2) | assured of longing | intoxication | morpheus finds | Duet | Sight Gag | (untitled) (3) | red ink | cellular division | aurora sexualis | between the lines | healing (darkness and light) | Secret Garden (To be Given with Two Roses) | Our Mysteries | ambience | Beautify | sidhe's love


cel: something? (3/99)

cascade of green
through the crystal wall I glimpse you
can you see me?
have you seen me?
listen to me singing--
where is the star that joins us?
for a dream
a song in the forest
a sparkle in a darkened room
at last.

 

cel continued (3/99)

the whiskey was thinking
but it was still me feeling
and as he held me soft and warm
and kissed my throat
I cried and cried and cried
for it was you I wanted
your touch I needed.
waves of desire washed me
as I read your simple words,
as though remembering.
to gaze in a glass
and see oneself
is no greater mystery,
but to gaze on you
and see myself
is a greater mystery
than I have ever known
mirror me
and I will reflect you.

 

for him I've always known (4/99)

dear one - I so miss you. you so quickly became a light of my heart, a joy to my soul. why did you withdraw your beauty and wonder from my sight? graceful sidhe, dynamic dragon; gentle fae and being of power - a mischievous smile and wisdom in eyes so like mine - I can only imagine the softness of your skin next to mine, the warmth of your throat brushed by my lips, the dampness of my tears falling into your palms. I would wish for you to have me as I would you, in celebration, a dragon-dance. I hope for impossible things with you and hope that they might not be impossible after all. I feel alone without seeing your words or hearing your voice, so like I dreamed it would be. have you indeed abandoned me, or will you truly return to me as you said you would? I cannot believe, soul's brother, that you would forget my name or your own, that you would so easily leave such a powerful thing as could be. I remember you and desire you - have we not known each other before? I think I have seen before what is behind those eyes. and I can only imagine if you will truly know me when those eyes meet mine, if you will feel that same touch of recognition and wave of desire, a recognition of what has gone before and can be again. but give me time, and I shall love you as truly as ever I might have. I long for your presence again, for your delicacy and your pure magic. don't leave me alone! I am yours.

 

A Dragon's Troth (5/2/99)

If it is so that I must win you as well as catch you--
(Pardon! Dragon mating flight! Coming through!)
I bow myself to you and say:
I would bear you on my back
to highest skies
I would skim the fiercest seas
to be with you
I would travel every land
to see you flying fair
And see your grace and shine
under moon and sun and star
May your wings
always spread wide.

 

Inspire (6/28/99)

There is a feeling of crystal shining
velvet star which forest-runs lace
and sings a clear A flat major.
See how I cannot explain it.
The best I can do is lapse poet
and try that low road of imagery and soundfeel.
There's a tone that goes with the fact
that I wish to call him not by name of syllables
but by name of notes -
ay, Brighid, where is thy sting?

 

missing (6/30/99)

i am not doing well by the
need
in separation?
perhaps it could be
said so.
but why are volleyball-playing
canadians
following me around town,
eh?

 

unpitted (7/1/99)

fingers stained in cherries' blood,
I think of you and wonder
how to separate your sweetness from your stone.

 

silver shadow (7/4/99)

no matter how you might perceive he wounds me
just knowing that he lives and what we can be
well, all I can do
is quote The Last Unicorn
"No sorrow will live in me
as long as that joy."
Whatever it is now washes those stains.
he is like liquid silver tears
cried over a death
to the stars' own silent singing.
I can do no better
than to say
it is all velvet to me.
in short: I have gone insane,
and I saw that it was good.

 

constellation (7/9/99)

no one hears me whisper your name
but the solemn stars of the sky
small comfort, that the stars are the same
you gaze on the same stars as I

 

the last word (7/19/99)

...and now there is but one word left for these trembling lips to say - and one day I will let it slide between them like that single tear tonight and let it fall sparkling into your hands as the best gift I can possibly offer you, for I fear when I speak that name to your eyes I may truly be giving my whole self to you forever, whether I have before, will in the future or am really just coming in on a wing and a prayer without looking at the consequences - and that is the most precious treasure I could ever offer anyone, for no one has ever laid claim to it but me, and to speak your name and hear mine back again would surely be making myself yours, and I can't know what you'd do with that - but even the giving...

 

remember promise think (9/16/99)

I remember you standing there under the sky
You promised no tears and you tried not to cry;
And yet I remember them, damp on my skin -
I promised myself that I'd let you come in.

I think of you breathing so softly, asleep
Each breath a promise I hoped you would keep;
And yet I still think of promises broken -
I breathed back to you a promise unspoken.

I remember you sparkling like dust of the stars
You promised to find me, to travel so far;
And yet I remember that I'd come to you -
I promised myself that I'd pay you your due.

I think of you close to me, warm against cold
Each touch leaving trails of silver and gold;
And yet I still think of trails unknown -
I touched you in signs that might lead you home.

I remember
you promised
And yet
I think
I promised myself

 

lifeblood (9/15/99)

like fairies' honey
you let your sweetness trickle into me
a murmur of that which makes you live
sustains me another terrible night
curl your wing to the wind
and take me flying...

 

heartheart (9/8/99)

withsilverikissyouwithhandsiloveyouwithstarlightitouchyouwithtongue
isingyouwithbeautyiknowyouwithsilverikissyouwithhandsiloveyouwithstarlight
itouchyouwithtongueisingyouwithbeautyiknowyouwithsilverikissyouwithhands
iloveyouwithstarlightitouchyouwithtongueisingyouwithbeautyiknowyouwithsilver
ikissyouwithhandsiloveyouwithstarlight...

 

(untitled) (9/25/99)

i have beautiful words
but I cannot murmur forever,
my beauty, my love,
my canadian precious--
noise and avert your eyes
the way you do
and that shall be enough
for ten seconds' time
and at that stroke
i'll need another kiss

 

vacancy (10/7/99)

     a
   hollow
      halo glimmers faintly
   teasing
each time I look at the
   empty
   space
      by my side

 

on awakening friday morning (10/22/99)

could have not slept
just for the privilege
of touching you more
for love is deep
and I am beauty's servant
and in you they run together

 

the vintners (11/9/99)

sweet and salt, our living wine
nineteen years aged, and twenty-one
these two together run red

 

To Each Their Own (11/28/99)

I would give you to drink
From bowl, vein or soul
The grape's blood or mine
Both perfected in time
Either drop to your lips
If it makes you more whole
For whatever the link--
Whether "imparted in sips"
Or by fiat of flowers--
It remains as sublime
And as sacred--we're ours.

 

cold steel (12/14/99)

the cold strikes soul-deep
without your flint to strike sparks
and flare into fire

 

Birthday Card (12/20/99)

I know it's nothing like your birthday
(it's the middle of winter, fer crissakes
even in Ontario, August 28th can't be winter)
but this thing made macho-tomboy me cry
and I figured you'd want to see anything
that could perform that trick of the light.
I think maybe I miss you.

 

fairy rainbows (2/22/00)

rainless rainbow
stars refracting
no water rain
your rainbow reigns
within me
stars in thirteen haloes
flashing through
each other making
rainbows without rain
to reign within me

 

As Above, So Below (3/19/00)

Stars above me
You beneath me
I see now
That all true majik
Is between
Heaven and Earth

 

Memory? (3/20/00)

I think that I retain
But it's never even close--
No memory can contain
What the present so well knows;
Like gods one only names
Under open, starry skies,
No memory can contain
The look that's in your eyes;
Like the sweetness and the pain
When I first felt a calling soul,
No memory can contain
The feeling of the whole.

 

lure (3/20/00)

--all the tension
was it worth the hassled wait?
--need i mention
just your smile's sufficient bait!

 

By the Numbers (4/13/00) (Usage: considered silly.)

Me times you's not hard to do-
One times one is one.
You minus me? That cannot be,
For null set I'd become.
We don't divide - we're side by side,
And our twinéd roots aren't square.
But me plus you - that's 42;
We find all answers there.

If you find this poem derivative, I'm sorry;
its subject is integral to me, and that's the factorial!

 

Mm-Mm (4/30/00)

Good for the body, good for the soul
And so much better hot than cold
Who'd have thought I'd ever stoop
To comparing your love to chicken soup?

 

To Anin (5/2/00)

I see you every time through Ilya's eyes,
I hear with him the lovely sounds you make;
I touch his joy a little when he cries
At words of love you've crafted for his sake.
A whisper of his raptured breathing's me;
I more truly see your shining with his sight;
Though Celebron, not Ilya, I may be,
Sometimes I share his dreams of you at night.
I feel how he trembles at your touch,
Know a hint of the desire in his kiss,
See shades of how he loves you very much--
And when you purr his name, I sense his bliss.

 

Desperation?: or, Distance Is Eeeevil (5/10/00)

Bodies are poor as a mirror for souls,
but they're all we have to entwine.
I feel you outside, I feel you inside,
but your soul is still too far from mine.

So what do we do when even we two
as bodies cannot be conjoined?
It might not suffice, but there is a vice
(at least so the word has been coined)...

A strange little secret? I guess that we'll keep it
and savor it between ourselves;
I can't call it dirty; it's really too purty--
as stunning as everything else.

 

hindsight (5/11/00)

seven months ago    you found inside me
that we are bonded living soul to soul----

i want - can i have? i need, for i love.
i breathe, so i think; i bleed, so you drink.

----how was i to know    that you beside me
is the only way to make the whole thing whole?

 

strands (5/14/00)

you wear
the night
spun blue
around your eyes

blackness shot
with starlight lines

a star's trail
falling silver over
night-sky wings

 

(untitled) (5/16/00)

ever wonder
how you feel to me?

I'm sitting under a stream
of endless warming water--
infinitely comforting--
and it's not just any water;
it's the fifth river of paradise
that nobody writes about
in their silly holy books.
it could be hallucination
but I don't think I'm going
to tell the boss about that one.
some secrets you keep.
if I tell, they may kick in
the anti-psychotics.
I don't care if it's ignorance
for it certainly is bliss.

 

assured of longing (5/18/00)

the longing is terrible. this and this alone kills my spirit.
this endless question - where are you?
why are you not here?
why am i not there?
i can only murmur names to myself.
and i find myself repeating
repeating
repeating
Ilya for Anin
Ilyanian for Eltanin
and even "my lord Celebron"...
(so low? indeed!)
but i wonder endlessly where any of them are.
Ilya.
Ilyanian.
a more piercing cry i do not hear
nor care to hear about.
"if" and "maybe" dissolve in the air
but does a star dissolve into the night?
only into the sun
and we can be eternal night.
i am not if, i am not maybe
i do not dissolve.
myself am truer than "true love"
and surer than "yes, yes, oh yes."
clouds obscure me
moonlight dims me;
but shining goes ever on
if you will fuel my fusion.

 

intoxication (6/1/00)

not blood, I don't think,
but the strongest of wines
must flow in your veins -
I've not tasted a drop
and yet I am drunk,
quite out of my mind
from simply admiring
the shape of the bottle.

 

morpheus finds (6/8/00)

why can't I waking
know all that I know
in dreaming of you?
only unconscious
can I part the veil
that glamour has drawn.
trying in daylight?
pursuing a mist,
chasing a rainbow...
sleeping, it's solid;
then I can touch it
and find that it's you.
night is much wiser
reveals more secrets
than daytime can know.

 

Duet (6/8/00)

Lonely howling's
no longer keening,
when we're baying
together being;
Mooning at
the starring sky,
smiling with
our shining eyes -
Stricken crying,
if both are noising,
turns to joying
in the voicing.

 

Sight Gag (6/10/00)

My eyes talk so loudly,
I'm always stuck hearing
chatter all endless
for every small thing.
Over noises like that,
is there any hope
to hear but a whisper
of what my heart sees?
Praise moon and starlight
your beauty's so blinding;
with eyes thus both muted
I'm free to see truly.

Your beauty shines
And touches me
Makes me go blind
To help me see
    --Bruce D. Bentley

 

(untitled) (6/21/00)

ringwearer markmaker--

my skin has twice broken for you,
the pain a sacrifice (to what?);

bloodless black and blooded red--
your lips have touched both wounds,
those scars of beauty's touch.

we run in each other's veins.

 

red ink (7/18/00)

is white to be crimsoned because of this lust,
gray steel cruelly parting the snow?
"you cause me pain"'s high octave is trust:
"you will not cause me to die here, I know."
red teardrop rubies more blessed than bone,
beauty all wounded, yet willingly shed;
others are books, but you are a poem:
wherever I've written, you're red.

(with apologies to Clive Barker)

 

cellular division (8/31/00)

imaginings:
you sit alone and listen
to my voice in whisper static.
your silence betrays your hand.
longing wells in me
for tender touches i can't see
but know - and i want
it to be me
soft palms to skin most delicate
causing a slow drop or two to fall
to belly or fingertip
or tonguetip
less hard-won than blood
but as full of livingness.
my mouth upon you--
stroking tongue
and lips that kiss...
i want to hear
a breath, a gasp,
that every sound that murmurs
smiling
that you want my giving
i do it well
that you
want me.
if only my fingers
peeking downward
felt you within
hardness covered in softness--
pulsing bloods
together complex interwining
ancient weaving patterns.
hands starve to trace
around, around wherever,
outlining shadows cast
by bones so barely covered
sticking to damp
where my body's warmed yours
patterning your back in red-

finding nothing but an aching
as i lie still listening
to your voice

(Inspired by "Phones" by A. J. Heard)

 

aurora sexualis (8/31/00)

plasma sky, celestial lightning-painted,
ghosts of merging dragon into dragon,
heavens raining stars instead of rain.
two whirls apart are leaning touch to touch
alone in swirling beauty, almost breath--

veil tendrils linking starry pools,
reaching out in milky light to light;
then knowing dancing flashes over one,
an arcing bolt swift-savored pulse to pulse,
of burning sweetness giving everything.

 

between the lines (9/1/00)

i love you, live to please you

nightsky cloth, these wings shall be a shield unto death
with heart and soul and body and word and touch and breath
limbs and all entangled as vine to tendriled vine
eyes and hands both locked and both caressing what they find
lines of blood to mingle, tribute tributary
like ecstasy in honey-lapping elder wine of faerie
whatever makes you perfect you may never understand
but take me just for me as well, i'll ever hold your hand
stars we're given, lights to guide us one unto the other
to satisfy the yearning joining - the true design of lovers

woods keep you, stars hold you, waters bear you

 

healing (darkness and light) (9/25/00)

Let me taste your gentle-touching blackness
Sweetness winding endlessly about you
Enrapture me with all-surrounding velvet
And give me shining meaningless without you

This shattered mirror captures not your glance
But reflects you in a thousand little stones
Its breaking echoes sad within your voice
And splits apart once-harmonizing tones

Remember always always all the darkness
Infinity so far beyond stars' light
And let yourself be held and so beloved
By all-forgiving all-protecting night.

 

Secret Garden (To be Given with Two Roses) (11/29/00)

One flower alone
May please the eye
But two is finer,
Side by side;
One bloom is grand,
But always better
Is when two
Shall grow together.

 

Our Mysteries (9/24/01)

Unbind thy hair and let it fall,
answer Beauty's starlight call;
cry out my name like poetry
and I shall cry out thine to thee;
I serve thy wants, thou servest me.
Speak your words as though they're sung,
let blood and wine flow o'er the tongue;
let soft lips meet and hands entwine
and pleasures be returned in kind;
thou art my love, and I am thine.
Drink of me, then drink to us,
and drink once more to holy lust;
then let the cup be flung aside
and lay thou naked by my side;
thou art my husband, I thy bride.

 

ambience (8/27/02)

the darkness of my room
has always been a friend
but the soft sound of your breathing
makes it a lover
who (like you) welcomes me
with open arms and smiles.

 

Beautify (11/6/02)

Share your beauty with me
Let it drip from your fingertips
Like moonlit honey
Onto my waiting face
Onto my hungering body
I pray you leave a glimmer of yourself
Wheresoever you may touch me.

 

sidhe's love (11/13/06)

the feel and taste of you
like moonlight beneath my fingers
starlight beneath my tongue

a thread that reminds me
of the Mother of all our kind
light shining out from the well
multicolored radiance
enclosing me in acceptance
remembering me in wholeness
beauty of all things
embodied in your shape

i stroke the soft strands of your hair
back from your illumined face
the sound of my name
is a caress from your lips
caresses from your lips
have the sound of my Name

how may i ease your pain, my love?
how may i dry your tears?
would that my touch would be enough

the perfection of your skin, the softness
like cloth woven out of cream
the way my hands elicit cries
as though i had the magic you do

in your voice my name is a spell
i weep at the loss of your touch

so wonderful it is to be called yours
you bring to me the blessing of the otherland


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