Hey, I'm Not Garbage!

Notice the small, round, turquoise thing on the ground near the bottom edge of the light grey area. You can type look at motivator if you like. Go one screen south and one screen east. Walk over right in front of the vertical conveyor on the right. You should get snatched by a bucket moving upwards. If not, move a little closer. You will be deposited on another conveyor belt. As soon as this happens, stand up and jump. Roger will pull himself onto the rail above the conveyor. Go two screens west. Walk over to the trash grabber (the device hanging from the rail) and get in grabber. Go west; the rail wraps around and you will exit heading east. Stop the grabber at the first red "cable" past the large supporting beam you see in the foreground. Look at the grabber. Press claw. The grabber will pick up the warp motivator that was lying on the ground where you started. Go three screens east. As soon as you round the curve and are heading west again, stop. Press the claw button again to lower the motivator into a ship that's underneath you (which we haven't seen). Go all the way back west to the room where you got in. Continue a bit until you are in front of the ramp between the two support beams. Get out of the grabber and go south. Look at the west wall. Look into the hole. Take the reactor. Exit via the ladder in the northeast part of the screen. Notice where you emerge, and then take the ladder.

Go north and east two screens. Take the wire that's near the west edge of the screen. Continue east until you are assaulted by one of the rats. Return west and south to the place where you came up and use the ladder. Go down into the rats' den. Walk over to the west wall and look in the hole again. Take the wire and reactor. Leave the same way as before. Take the ladder when you come out. Retrace your steps north and then east three times. Look at the head. Walk to a spot underneath its broken eye, next to the vents. Climb into the head. Look at the ship. Walk to the southeastern side of the ship, use the ladder, and climb it. Walk carefully to the hatch and open it. Look. Look at the computer. Use the reactor to provide a power source. Use the wire to connect it to the power cables. Look at the computer again. Sit in the pilot's seat and search it. Look at the screen. Select Radar, Engines, and then Takeoff. Before you crash into the roof, select Weapons. Put up the Shields and press Fire. Look at the screen again. Select Navigation and then Scan twice. Set course for Phleebhut. Press Lightspeed.

For Your Amusement:
Get the piece of metal leaning against the Jupiter 2 (large blue ship that says "JUP" on screen). (save first)
Get carried along into the trash shredder. (Not a pretty sight!) (save first)


When you are in orbit around Phleebhut, press Land. Stand up and press the red button. If you encounter a scorpazoid on any screen, quickly exit and return. Go west and north two screens, avoiding the overhanging rock with the pulsing pods (we'll be back to this one). Read the sign. Go west. Sell Fester the glowing gem you have mysteriously kept from Space Quest 2. Refuse his first two offers; sell it for 425 buckazoids. Buy the hat, the Orat on a Stick, and the Thermo-Weave underwear. Leave. Arnoid will appear to grab Roger, but let him go so he can hunt Roger down again. Save the game.

Go two screens east and two screens south. Look out for Arnoid on the way; if you keep moving quickly, and move away when you see his footprints, you'll probably be fine. Go west from the southern part of the screen. Stand near the overhang. When you see footprints, quickly go under the western part. If you do it right, the pods will catch Arnoid and he'll be off your back. (Alternate solution for fewer points: go one screen west after exiting the World o' Wonders and enter the doorway. Stand on the lift and press the button. Go up the stairs and stand behind a pulley, facing the stairs. When Arnoid steps off the top of the stairs, grab pulley to make Roger shove it in Arnoid's direction. Crunch. Go back down to the bottom and take the belt.) Notice that the pods spit out some gunk, including Arnoid's invisibelt. Use the Orat to grab the belt. (There's an alternate, although rather less efficient, solution to this too: Leave Arnoid's remains here. Get back in the Mallard and scan for Ortega. Go there and follow the instructions below for getting the pole from the ScumSoft survey site. Return to Phleebhut and use the pole to get the belt.) Wear the belt. Return east to the ship and walk up the ramp. Sit in the pilot's seat and look at the screen. Press Engines and Takeoff. Press Navigation and Scan twice. Set course for Monolith Burger and go to Lightspeed.

For Your Amusement:
Walk under the pulsing pods. (save first)
Open the glass case outside the World o' Wonders. (save first)
Read all the postcards.
Wear the hat.

Monolith Burger

Walk west one screen and approach the clerk. Look at the menu. Order the Fun Meal and pay. Sit at the empty booth and eat. Stand up and walk over to the arcade game. Play game. Watch the instructions. Slow the game all the way down if you want to actually play Astro Chicken. Insert a buckazoid. You must play the game ten times, although it doesn't matter plotwise if you land any chickens or not. (To get the maximum game score, you have to land ten chickens.) After the tenth game, a message will appear on the screen. Use the ring. You can decode the message if you like, but the gist is that you need to rescue the Two Guys who are being held prisoner on Pestulon. Walk back into the airlock and enter ship. Turn on the engines and the navigation system. Scan twice and set course for Ortega. Go to lightspeed.

For Your Amusement:
Order the Big Belcher, and then return to your ship.


When you are orbiting Ortega, land and stand up. Wear the ThermoWeave underwear. Press the red button. Go south, west, and south across the bridge. Keep moving on the bridge, or you'll be shaken off into the lava. Wait until the ScumSoft guys leave. Look through the telescope. Take the pole that's on the right of the screen. Look at the crate. Take one of the thermal detonators. Go east two screens and then north. Walk behind the top right group of rocks and you will find a pathway leading down. Go west down the stairs. Go east. Go over to the ladder and climb it. Walk as close as you can to the edge of the generator and drop in the detonator. Save the game.

Climb back down the ladder and retrace your steps to the rock bridge: West, south (will take you up the stairs), south, south, west, north. Vault across the now-missing bridge by saying use pole. Continue east and north back to the Mallard and get in. Sit down, turn on the engines, and take off. Navigate and scan four times. Set course for Pestulon and use cruise speed this time. When you arrive, land, stand up, and press the button. Save the game.

For Your Amusement:
Exit onto the surface of Ortega without wearing your ThermoWeaves. (save first)
At the survey site, kill men.


Walk in any direction. Turn on the invisibility belt and enter ScumSoft. Go past the guards and down the stairs. Press the button next to the door. Slow the game all the way down. Go north. Enter the second door (it will be on your left). To do this, you have to turn to your left and walk straight at it. This may take a number of tries. Look at the closet. Wear the coveralls. Leave and return south to the first door. Save the game and go through. You can speed up the game again. Walk over to the trash can that is immediately to your left and vaporize trash.

As you walk through this office maze, vaporize the trash in every wastebasket you encounter. If you don't, you'll be found out and killed. You also need to be standing in a certain small place relative to each can to hit the trash; if you miss too many times, your bad aim will also give you away, so save after every few successes in case you screw up. Go north a little bit around the cubicle wall and go west down the first possible passage. Walk to the picture hanging on the southern cube wall and take it. Go to the copy machine and copy the picture. Put the original back on the wall (hang picture works). Return east and then go north again to the second westward passage. Go north past the desk and then head back east. Go south as far as you can, then east to the northward passage that leads off screen. (To get the last trash can, you have to stand so Roger is hidden behind the white pillar.)

You will find yourself facing Elmo's office. Immediately leave the screen to the south and return. Walk into Elmo's office and examine the desk. Take the keycard. Return south and west. Go south to the second eastern passage. Exit south and you will be back in the circular hallway. Slow the game down again and head north. Pass by the closet and stop at the door with the computer screen next to it. Use the keycard. Hold up the copy of Elmo's picture. Enter the doorway (just press the right arrow key - it doesn't look like it's lined up right, but it works). Press button - you can't see it on the screen, but Roger appears to know it's there. Walk up to the jello and vaporize jello. At this point there is a bit of a scene and you will be captured by ScumSoft security and stuck into a Nukem Dukem Robot.

For Your Amusement:
Notice the two guys with whips on the left of the screen with Elmo's office. These are Ken Williams (on the left) and Rick Cavin (on the right), who was head of Production when SQ3 was being made.

Irritating Endgame Arcade Sequences

Save the game as soon as you can after Elmo says "there are no rules". Quickly approach Elmo and start punching. Don't do this too fast or you'll use up your power, but it's a good strategy to try to back him against the wall and keep hitting. Maintain a few saves; save every time you've reduced his power a bit, and restore whenever your power is going down. When you defeat him, Roger and the Two Guys will escape to the Mallard. Look at the screen. Select Attack Speed and turn on the weapons system. Switch the shields to the rear. ScumSoft will be sending fighters after Roger. They alternate approach from the rear and front. The ones which come directly from the front cannot be tracked and fired on. Those which come from the rear will shoot you first, and then appear in front to be tracked. You must down five of them to win. Switch your shield directions after each attack. Your shields can withstand 11 hits and the 12th will make you so much space vapour. (They get 9 free hits on you, when coming from the rear and from the fact that you can't shoot them when they come from the front, so there's not much room for error.) Again, save after each one you shoot. When you have killed the last of them, return to the cockpit view, and watch the ending movie.

For Your Amusement:
Read the ending credits.


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Last updated 3/15/2014