Kensington Gardens
Go east. Get the soccer ball. Go northwest. Examine the sundial, then examine the gnomon. Unscrew the gnomon and get it. Go northeast, then north. After the woman loses her umbrella, throw the soccer ball at it, and get the umbrella. Go west twice. Open the pram. Push it south. Give the coin to the bird woman to buy a bag of crumbs. Get the crumbs and your change. Put the coin in your pocket. Feed the pigeons. Take the ruby. Push the pram east. Examine the boats. Get the paper bird and unfold it. Examine the paper. Look at your watch. Push the pram east again. Get in the pram. Open the umbrella. CRASH! Get everything. Look at your watch. Examine the missile. Go east and enter the door.
For Your Amusement:
Stand in the pram.
Give the bird woman your credit card, and the small (20p) coin you get as
change..
Hit the bubble-blowing boy.
Sit on the missile at Long Water.
Things you can ask the bird woman about: Trinity, roadrunner (both before and after you see it), ruby (both before and after you see it), watch, London, soccer ball, Round Pond, Long Water, statue of Queen Victoria, bag of crumbs, gnomon, pigeons, change, credit card, pram, boy, grass, paper bird, piece of rice paper, umbrella, Albert Memorial, herself, Wabewalker.
Beyond the Omega Door
Go north, east, and north. Try to get the log, then get the remaining splinter. Go southeast twice, then west, north, up (get the axe), south, and down. Notice that the writing is now backwards! Go east, northwest, then north three times. Screw the gnomon onto the sundial. Lower the lever. Turn the ring to Mars. Go down twice, southwest, east, southwest, east, and around the pergola (north, up, south, down). Notice that the writing is forwards again, which will make it a bit easier to move around the map. Go west, northeast, northwest, northeast. Cut the tree with the axe. Push the tree north. Drop the axe. Go east, southeast. Enter the toadstool.
For Your Amusement:
Put something in the Klein bottle, then go to the top of the pergola.
Eat the toadstool.
Open the umbrella (or get inside a bubble - see Mercury Door) and jump into
the chasm (save first).
The Mars Door
Open the umbrella to slow your descent. Get everything after you land. Go east and get the spade. Return west and wait for a little girl to appear. Give her the paper. Give her the umbrella to trade for the bird. Ride the bird. Enter the door. Go west twice, then up to the vertex.
For Your Amusement:
Refer to the city as Hiroshima while falling (save first).
Wait until you can see the bomb falling, and examine the bomb (save first).
The Barrow and Pluto Door
Turn the ring to Pluto. Go down twice, west twice, then north. Open the crypt with the spade. Look in the crypt and examine the corpse. Get the shroud and the boots (you have to get them one at a time; get boots takes only one of them). Remove the bandage, examine the mouth and get the coin. Drop the bandage. Go south, southeast, then east twice. Drop the shroud, boots and silver coin at the River. Return west, west, northwest, north, north, and north again. Search the bones and get the skeleton key. Go through the door in the toadstool. Get the lantern. Go west. Get the walkie-talkie (you can refer to it as "talkie"). Turn the lantern on and drop it. Go west again. Put the splinter in the crevice. Get the skink and put it in your pocket. Go east and get the lantern. Return all the way east through the door. Go south. Put the key in the hole and turn it. Go down. Turn off the lamp. Throw the spade at an icicle, and take the icicle.
For Your Amusement:
Kiss the wight (save first).
Look inside the hole in the Barrow wall.
Unscrew the bomb.
Chop the bomb with the spade (save first).
Eat the skink (save first, you need it).
The Cottage
Go east three times, north twice, then return south twice, northeast, east twice. Put the icicle on the lump. Go west, south, west, and south and drop the walkie-talkie and lamp. Return north, east, north, east and get the lump of metal. Go west and northwest. Open the door and enter the cottage. The things the magpie is saying (besides narrating your actions) are the ingredients for a spell, which we're going to be collecting. Examine the map and read the book. (Eerie, huh?) Leave the cottage and go southeast, then west. Put your hand in the hive twice. Go west twice and the flytrap will catch the bee. Go east, northeast, and east. Put your hand in the cauldron. Open the back door and go east. Search the refuse and get the garlic. Return west and put the garlic in the pot. Go west, southwest twice, east, and up twice.
For Your Amusement:
Read the book several times.
Put your hand in the hive a third time (save first).
The Neptune Door
Turn the ring to Neptune. Go south twice, west, northeast, and north. Enter the door. Go down. Open the box. Press the button. Go south, then east. Wait for the dolphin to come up out of the lagoon, then go south and west. Wait for the tide to rise until you see the coconut floating away from the islet. Dolphin, get the coconut. Get the coconut, then go south and north back into the scaffold. Go up and back through the door. Go south. Get the axe. Go northeast and east. Drop the coconut, break it with the axe, and pick it up again. Pour the milk in the cauldron. Drop the coconut. Go west, southwest, southwest, east, north, and north.
For Your Amusement:
Refer to the fin as "Jaws" and the dolphin as "Flipper".
The Mercury Door
Turn the ring to Mercury. Go south, south, west, and north twice. Get in the dish. Wait until you are inside a soap bubble. Go south and southwest, and through the door. Get the skink out of your pocket and kill it (one of the things the magpie specifies, if you didn't hear it, is "skink killed in the light of a crescent moon"). Wait while the lump of metal pulls you towards the satellite, then wait three more times until the white door is "very close now". Break the bubble with the axe and you will be blown back through the door. Drop the axe. Go northeast, east, northeast, and east. Get the cage. Put the skink in the cauldron. Go west. Wait while the fireworks happen inside the cottage. Return east. Look in the cauldron and get the emerald. Open the cage and let the magpie go free. Go west, southwest, southwest, east, and north twice.
For Your Amusement:
Hit the giant bubble-blowing boy.
The Libra Door
Turn the ring to Libra. Go south twice, east, northwest, northeast, east twice and through the door. Go down, then northeast twice. Look in the crevice and get the lemming. Put it in the cage and close the cage. Return southwest twice, up the ladder, and through the door. Go west, west, southwest, southwest, east, up, up.
For Your Amusement:
Refer to the rodents as "lemmings" before you recognize their species.
Jump off the cliff with the lemmings (save first).
Go southwest of the enclosure, to the control bunkers (save first).
The Alpha Door
Turn the ring to Alpha. Go down twice, east, south. Get the boots and burial shroud, and wear them. Get the coin, walkie-talkie and lamp. Check that you are carrying the silver coin, walkie-talkie, lantern, emerald, birdcage with lemming, and bag of crumbs, and make sure you are wearing both the red and green boots. Wait for the boat to appear. Board the boat and pay the boatman your silver coin. When the boat stops again, go south and through the door.
For Your Amusement:
Give the credit card or the 20p coin to the boatman.
Refer to the river as "Styx" and the boatman as "Charon".
The Trinity Site
Remove the shroud and drop it. Also drop the 20p coin, credit card, and wristwatch. Open the book and get the piece of cardboard. Examine it. Read the poetry. After you hear "a squeal of rubber, and the motor fades into the distance", it's safe to leave the shack. Go west, then down twice. Put the emerald in the green boot. Get the ruby and put it in the red boot. Go northwest three times. Get in the Jeep. Examine the dial on the radio. Set the walkie-talkie to the same number, then raise the antenna and turn it on. Leave the Jeep.
For Your Amusement:
Open the wallet in the jeep and look at the boy in the photo.
Pet the roadrunner.
Go southeast five times. Open the gate and go southeast again, then south, open the door, and east. Get the knife. Go east, then north twice. Close the closet door. Open the birdcage, then open the closet door. Drop the birdcage. Go south. Look under the paper. Get the screwdriver. Open the door and go east twice, then southeast, then north. Drop the bag of crumbs and walkie-talkie. Return south, then northeast and up. Turn on the lamp. Try to get the binoculars. Dive and get all. Return to the surface. Go south and get the bag of crumbs and walkie-talkie. Turn off the lamp.
For Your Amusement:
Ask the roadrunner to look under the brown paper.
Go south again, then west twice, north, northwest, west, south three times. Look at the shelter with the binoculars. Wait one turn for the roadrunner to show up. Roadrunner, get the key. Get the key, then return north to the base of the tower. Unlock the box with the key. Examine the panel. Open the circuit breaker. Take note of which line (ground, positive, informer, or detonator) has opened by doing this, based on what you hear over the walkie-talkie ("Ask the kid if he reconnected the ____ line…"). Close the breaker again. Go southwest four times. Wait for the roadrunner to show up and start bothering the dog. Drop the bag of crumbs. Return northeast four times and go up the tower (twice) and east into the shack.
For Your Amusement:
Refer to the thin man as "Oppenheimer". (He's in the shelter - use the binoculars.
However, I didn't get any amusing response from this item suggested in the
InvisiClues.)
Open the box with the screwdriver. Pull the chain to turn on the light. Refer to the diagram on the bookmark to see which wire it is you want to cut; it's whichever colour (red, white, striped, or blue) corresponds to the wire mentioned when you opened the breaker. Wait until the autosequencer takes over at zero minus 45 seconds, then cut that wire with the steak knife.
Kensington Gardens…again
At this point, you can do what you like. Repeat actions from the start of the game, if that amuses you. Or just wander around. All prams lead to the Kensington Gardens, after all…